On being too nice.
What is it? Why do we do it? And how can we recognize it, stop it, and set healthier boundaries.
What: Being too nice is often a ‘safety mechanism’, put in place in childhood (or perhaps in a past life, and brought through to this one for further study). It is avoidance, meant to help us avoid conflict or other angst (even the angst of our own truthful thoughts, when we are ‘nice’ to someone ‘falsely’).
Sometimes we learned that we don’t deserve to be happy, or to have our needs/wants met. This leads us to value the needs and wants of others above our own, again a safety mechanism put in place early in life to avoid some kind of pain. It is called ‘People Pleasing’. But “why” do we do all of this, and how can we stop?
Why: Conflict within the childhood can threaten safety and security. It is an innate fear, an ‘animal’ instinct. If we get kicked out of the nest, heard, or group, in youth, then we are sure to die. That is why this instinct is so strong; to protect oneself from what we perceive to be “life threatening”. So we cultivate safety mechanisms to avoid getting rejected and hurt.
How can we put healthier boundaries in place? First we need to recognize when we are avoiding, and determine what and why we are avoiding that “thing”. These affirmations and actions will help, and as always, I have further information and help from our Angels below.
Affirmation: I am fearless! I am STRONG! I am CONFIDENT! [Believe me, stating these out loud will release energy, and begin to create a different vibration!] Call on Archangel Michael, who helps rid us of toxins associated with fear, and Archangel Raphael, who is a powerful healer.
Action: Think about a relationship or situation that you were uncomfortable with, one where you felt that you didn’t have a healthy boundary in place. Now, let’s put a “name” to “what” we are avoiding. Then we can understand “why” we are avoiding that thing. If, for example, it is being rejected, what do we fear about being rejected? Do we fear being hurt? Dive into the feeling and see that it is not going to really hurt in a way that is life threatening. As we dive in and allow ourselves to feel that which we have been avoiding, it begins to be neutralized; the feeling becomes less impactful the more we can tolerate feeling it; the longer we can stay in it. It loses its power over us, no longer holding us hostage to the fear behind “feeling” it.
For more help with how to manifesting healthy boundaries, click below on the 7 Step Healthy Boundary Activation Worksheet! Take 7 easy steps to a new vibration within your relationships and help you stop unhealthy behaviors. You deserve to do this for yourself!
Manifest what you want to ‘feel’, and create healthy boundaries with this 7 Step Inner Strength Activation Worksheet. It is full of tools to help you overcome the struggle of repeating the same old pattern in your relationships over and over again!
>>>>7 Step Healthy Boundary Activation Worksheet
Love YOU! Learn how to stay strong through a break-up! Quit repeated patterns of angst within your relationships! It is time for all of us to stand in our highest vibration, and this worksheet will help you create at a completely different level. This is taking you toward your soul mate, and toward your hearts desires within your soul plan! Beautifully channel by our Angels for you, they are calling all of us to action! It’s time….
Love and Peace,
Vicki Murphy, BFA, RMPT, IEP
Certified Psychic Medium
Reiki Master Healer
Reverend, Marriage &
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